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Superman's Secret Identity ISN'T Clark Kent ...


John Patterson

Clark Kent is really a reporter for the Daily Planet in Metropolis. Honest. Poor guy. All these years, he and his friends Lois, Jimmy and Perry White have had to deal with alien monsters and gangsters with greased back hair because people thought that Clark Kent was Superman.

No. He's not. And we have the picture to prove it.

Taken serupticiously last night, this photograph clearly shows John Patterson changing into his uniform. Look closely. There, under his suit, IS this Nationals uniform. Don't think so? What colors do you see? Red, blue and yellow. When Patterson pitches, we just think it's the official nationals uniform because we see those three colors. Nope. He's Superman.

Now, there is no question that he's pitched like Superman this year. The question that begs to be asked then, is why he didn't pitch like Superman in Arizona? Easy. Arizona is covered with Kryptonite. Near that deadly green rock, Superman is "mortal," and he certainly pitched that way. Why didn't he pitch well in Montreal then? He did. But when you covert from Canadian into American, his record simply didn't look as good.

John Patterson isn't the only superhero among the Nationals. Look for my expose on BATman coming soon.
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